battle

 I'm going to post my most difficult battle which noone knows about because i always thought it would be too pathetic to talk about. I'm posting this with the confidence that noone knows my blog and nobody would care enough to look it up. It has lots of grammatical mistakes because i wrote it in the middle of the night sobbing my eyes out and actually crying crying and i don't want to correct the mistakes because i think it adds to the authenticity of what i felt that night. It makes it more meaningful.

Will i always be this lonely?

I thought it'd be over when I come to college, that I'll no longer feel the way i do 

But I'm always so alone, even among so many people

Why couldn't i have just one person with me? Only one would do it

I just need one person who gets me, who knows me and understands me 

Is asking for just one too much to ask? 

I don't want to feel this way

I don't want to be alone

I would do anything rather than be alone

I need to figure out what it is that makes me so undesirable 

Maybe if I was pretty people wouldn't want to leave me alone 

Maybe if I was different than myself i wouldn't have to be so alone 

Why is it just me? Everyone else has friends 

Everyone else has people to talk to 

Everyone else has people who like them 

What am I doing wrong 

If God had a choice, he wouldn't have chosen to love me either